Thursday, May 23, 2013

Dear Me Letter

Dear Me,                                                                                                                                                             May 22, 2013
Hello, wow you made it never thought you would make it this far & long.  However you may want to put your seatbelt on: you are in for a wild and bumpy ride.  You not only did it but, you did pretty well for a girl who got pregnant in high school.  When I was born, my Uncle was so proud.  He would walk around saying, “Look what I got for my birthday.”  As I got older, he would then say “Can I trade her in; I can’t carry her around anymore.”
While you were growing up there were many different changes and to you it will feel as just very different lives.  That is how you will make referee to them, such as when I had this life I had this and so on.  Then you would say now this life I have this.  You will meet very many people along the way and you will learn no matter where you go you will always have a “Lisa G. in your life.  They may be different but you always find the same types of people, no matter where you go there will be a Lisa jabbing you.
You learn at a very young age about loss of a friend, at that time it was as if your world was coming in on you.  The first Christmas after your mom you and your sister move out and in with your grandparents, it was in March that year you were in 5th grade and you were in a fog anyway, your daddy never came for Christmas and your friends never returned your letters that you wrote after that last letter that you got from them telling you what all they got for Christmas and you waited from January until March to hear.  The News that you got was not good.  They never returned your letters because they were no longer alive.  Your Best friends were killed in January of that year in a fire, you hear that they were trapped, and could not get out they will tell you to not worry they were together when they passed because they found them in the same bed.
As you grow older, your mother will get married again, and when she does this, it will be to a man who has seven kids, and she moved you into the home that he had with all those kids.  With that being said you will lay in bed at night and wonder when your daddy was going to come and take you away, and you held onto that for a long time waiting for any word that he wanted you.
You had another great loss of a great friend when you were 15, your best friend who you just mint that year as it was your 1st year at another school, and Johnny was great he was always waiting for you at the end of the school day, when the day ended you would run to meet Johnny at the side door of the school and you would both smoke a cigarette, yes you will start smoking at a very young age.  It was as if you could fit an entire day’s conversation in that few minutes with Johnny, he would walk either you to the bus sometimes or you would both go your own way the last he did walk you to the bus and said see you tomorrow.  Tomorrow never came that day after school you went home and it turned out that he ran into some friends and they went swimming.  Johnny did not come home he drowned that day and it was not long after he left you because they showed it on the 6pm news.  As you watched the news, they kept saying a Windber man drowned after high school.  They called him a man because he was 18, funny they call you a man because of age.  The next day after school you went to that door and smoked a cigarette for Johnny, you stood there, and you talked to him as you did any other day, this day you yelled at him for leaving you.  You did not know how you would live without him.  He was there for you, and the only one you felt that was there for you.
You again moved again to another school, and this would be the school that you would graduate from you will go here for 2 years.  Then you will graduate from high school and marry the week after your high school graduation.  You decide to have the baby and sometimes you felt that maybe you should have given the baby away because you would not have been the best mother but you loved that child with all you heart and loved the next child with all your heart and the 3rd child you feel was a gift from God, because you prayed for a baby and then after 6 yrs after the last baby you had another wonderful baby.
You will make it to that freeing age of 16 and find out that you were freer when you were 12: you had friends that you could walk to their house and spend the weekend.  At 16, you had to have others take you because of where you lived.  By the time, you graduate high school your wedding will be the week after and then you will become a mother.  They always say that the girls who got pregnant in high school were not good girls; I was a good girl, until I dated one guy well maybe that does not sound as good as you only dated one guy.
You were a person who would stand up for what they thought was right from the time you started.  The first school that you went to for 1st grade you would buy milk on your recess because if the older kids could do it so could you.  However, school turned out to not be your forte you always told the teacher that you did not go to school to learn baby stuff that you already knew, you wanted to learn real stuff who does not know their colors, and how to write incursive? 
You will know what it is like to work and to not work, you will come to a time in your live where you are feeling lost and all of your spiritual friends will tell you that you are right where you are to be you are on track.  Therefore, when you are feeling lost and not sure, what you are to be doing just keep doing what it is that you are doing.
Your kids will grow, you will become a grandmother early not even 50, you will not want to be called grandma you want to be called “Nana,” and so it will be.  You are a Nana to a wonderful little boy who came into this world April 12, 2013.  What a wonderful day that will be in your life you want to see him and touch him it will take a few days before you will be able to do this because he lives in Ohio.  You may have always dreamed that your grandchildren would live down below you close so that you could see them all the time.
You will be happy and have a wonderful husband with two great kids, which you are lucky to have and love with all your heart.
Just one more thing you should know you will get a College Degree an Associate Degreein Business.  Way to go Teri.
Remember to take some me time and do not always feel that everyone deserves it (no matter what it is) more than you do.
This may not cover your entire life however: it covers some highlights.

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